Two Years and Counting...

I am a little late with this post, but I am on the verge of dizzy-free right this moment, so it seemed like a good time to finally write this post.

Last Thursday was my two-year POTSiversary. It was a bittersweet day.

This is what the past two years has felt like — a big, dizzy blur. :)
Photo credit: Smicko on freeimages.com

In one sense, I've been sick now for two years and have lost a lot: job, condo, money, independence ... my ability to wear a size 4. I became sick at the age of 29, and I am now 31. Something about that feels like more than two years, like I lost a chunk of my youth.

On the other hand, I remember that first day, week, month with POTS so vividly. While I am not quite where I want to be from a functional and symptomatic standpoint, I was absolutely miserable and scared in the beginning.

I remember laying on my parents' couch the first day my POTS hit. The tachycardia was intense and constant, no matter what position I was in. I was so lightheaded I couldn't sit up. I felt like I was on fire, and the shakes and muscle spasms were relentless. I slept maybe 2 or 3 hours per night. Taking a shower was the most challenging thing ever.

Looking back, I also now realize how my body told me what it needed. I was nauseous and had no appetite, but my mom of course was insisting I eat something, anything. For some reason, I wanted bacon. I remember my mom bringing me a plate full of bacon. That and Gatorade was all I wanted that first day. (Hello, salt and electrolytes!) I was so hot that I couldn't stop drinking Gatorade and water. When I finally saw a doctor who told me about POTS, electrolytes and staying hydrated, my reaction was basically, I can't help but do those things! It was my natural inclination.

Ultimately though, I have made it. I have made it two years with POTS. I have been through a lot these past two years, but I have survived. It hasn't killed me, and I am stronger. I am so thankful that God has brought me this far!